had a beer, just aint feeling right
won't get me in jail, or get me in a fight
won't make me fall asleep somewhere I dont know
wake up in the morning wearing all my clothes


ordered another draft , put it on my tab
won't end up throwing up or hailing a cab
won't make me grab the microphone or start to dance
won't make me ask her if I have a chance

[chorus]

hey bartender, I'll have another pint
sure as hell won't, get shut off tonight
won't end up yelling, "The Bouncer is a Jerk"
won't end up sleeping in and calling in to work

[chorus]

another round of pitchers for me and my friends
we'll be here all night long, till the very end
won't end up on the steps talking to a girl so fine
won't buy her friends a shot or a bottle of wine

[chorus]

douchebags everywhere
popped collars and stupid hair
baseball hat
at the perfect angle

kegstands in the air
shotgun or funnel a beer
ice luge
with a shot of jaegar

short skirt and makeup on
showing off a sexy thong
tramp stamp
that says I'm easy

all the guys think im hot
showing off what I got
and that aint much
but Im horny

red plastic cup
gonna go and fill it up
ain't going home alone again

red plastic cup
30 grand just to fill it up
but I'm hooking up again

I won't call her in the morning
he'll call me in the morning
hungover
looking for self-esteem

sometimes I feel so sad
'bout the girlfriend
that I don't have
sitting home alone again
I want one by my side
a woman through the night
sometimes I feel it so strong


she ain't ever mean
smells so nice and clean
always wakes up with a smile

ice skating in the snow
take off those winter clothes
making love by the fire

[chorus]

put on a sexy dress
your makeup is a mess
because we're kissing in the rain

buying you new clothes
manicures and pretty toes
that shade sure looks good on you

[chorus]

she tells me she loves me
want to meet her family
watch the sunset on the beach

my thoughts all pretty things
churchbells and wedding rings
two kids and a house

she's 35 and hit the wall
she's going out with "The Girls"
livin' in her Modern World

she wonders why the men won't call
gives her number to every guy
personal ads...
with no reply

saturday nights in a city loft
self-esteem, it is lost
martinis and a stoli-raz
no date to pick up the tab

I know I said I'm sorry
but I don't think I'm wrong
I just got tired
of fighting all night long

so much more pleasent
when you think you're right
sometimes i appease you
just to stop the fight


what I said, what I did
I forgot to mention
you treat me like a kid

I should have shut my mouth
before you up and gone
I got a cold beer going
and the radio on

[chorus]

you went and told your friends
told them I'm a jerk
making me look stupid
you made me late for work

I can go and fly a kite
stuck up in a tree
you will still be crazy,
crazy as me

[chorus]

someone stuck her nose
somewhere it don't belong
I'm all alone again
as I write this song

I know I said I love you
but I don't think that you care
you can say I love you too
but you ain't even here

[chorus]

I'm alright, I'm sailing away again
I'm alright, gonna drown my pain

I got a steady buzz going on
and a drink in front of me
and I ain't coming back
'cause my drink is in love with me

vacation days have come and gone
gotta go to work today
shave my face, put on a suit
out the door and I'm on my way

I don't want to go
work just ain't no fun
I'd rather stay home with you
and party in the sun

stop the car and turn around,
come home and ditch the tie
trade the suit for a pair of shorts
bloody mary, sounds about right


one day melts with another
daytime into night
listening to good music
by the flicker of a bonfire light

radio's up, put it on '10'
driving the neighbors crazy
fireworks and a keg of beer
sounds like a party to me
yes, sounds like a party to me

[chorus]

frisbee and a baseball
play a game of catch with you
mimosas in the morning,
margaritas in the afternoon

fishin' for fish out on a boat
sun beating down on you
I forgot the suntan lotion
now I'm red as a beet stew

and we'll go
drinkin' fishin' boatin' and a kissin'
drinkin' and a barbecue
so glad I'm not at work
here in the sun with you

[chorus]

wouldn't be a birthday
without a story to tell
wouldn't be a birthday
without being drunk as hell

the morning after
you start drinking again
hungover laughter
finding out where you been

woke up with a two
went home with a ten
that's just me forgetting
my math again

one point for the makeup
one for the style
alcohol's worth four or five
and she had a pretty smile

one point for the silky blouse
and one for matching shoes
one point for the boa
and another for the booze

I woke up with a two
went home with a ten
that's just me forgetting
my math again

one point slipped away
'cause her bathroom was a mess
couple more disappeared
as I watched her undress

one point gone for the dog
that's in the bed
and another one's missing
for something that she said

I woke up with a two
went home with a ten
that's just me forgetting
my math again

I woke up with a seven
went home with a ten
at least that's what I'll
tell my friends

I wrote a letter left it on the door
you went and changed the locks
do I live here anymore

and I pay my bills
changed the will
living the divorced life
I can't live without a wife

kids are changing schools
you make up the rules
with your dime store book advice
I can't live
with you anymore

with broken vows
nights out on the town
you went and left it all
are you the same anymore

the young guys tell you
'what are you doing here'
I'd sleep with you tonight

tomorrow your age
wrinkles on the stage
of celebrity the night before

when I was a child I took a drive
with my dear grandpa
cross country, I found the man in me
we got so close singing to the songs
the night got late, the road got long
I got hungry he stopped for me


I was a boy with a mind so so wild
I ate pancakes
too many for a child
but I felt like a man
with my grandfather-man

I got sick and he understood
just like the man, that I knew he was
yes he was
perpetually kind,
give his sight to the blind
yes he would

[chorus]

every day I wake
I know that hes with me
watching my path looking out for me
and I know someday we'll meet again
cause he's my grandfather man

the killer bees are gay,
well find a place a to stay
a hundred miles more
and we can pray

a "Steak and Shake", a change of clothes
theyll be on our toes
but weve got a stone to take and
I know weve got to go,

cause Hes my grandfather man

(instrumental)

I cant sleep
in this bed
wait for a woman
shes in my head

perfect soul
wait for me
I will wait
for eternity


restless nights
I toss and turn
fans do nothin
to ease the burden

my country girl
long brown hair
I'll wait for you
if you still care

[chorus]

I am the lonely man
I am the lonely man
I'll wait for you
wait for me if you can
I am the lonely man

I walk to the yard
and I look to the night
I can see you
up in the sky

I still think of you
every night
I still see you
in moonlight

[chorus]

I am the lonely man
I am the lonely man

some people ask me
how many drinks does it take
to write those songs,
the songs that you make

and I tell them
I dont know

so just stop asking
cause when im talking to you
Ive probably
already had a few

and if you ain't careful
the next song will be about you